Friday Flame

Picking on malicious commenters is never in good form, but it\’s Friday and sometimes I can\’t resist. Back on August 12th, I wrote an entry called I can\’t wait until this entry shows up on Google and drum corps kids start commenting about what an idiot I am. Well, a little over a month-and-a-half later, the other shoe has finally dropped. Late last night, I finally received some of the hate that I crave so dearly. \”Dave,\” whose IP address is at the University of Nebraska, keeps the internet going:

There’s nothing worse than some nobody who never marched giving a drum corps review….

Using the whole Truth Drums debacle as a guide, I thought the flames would start trickling in much sooner and at a much higher rate. Alas, I guess the drum corps kids have better things to do.

To this comment, I have prepared two responses, one good, and one awesome. Ahem.

Good: I took an entire paragraph, Dave, to outline my complete history with corps, so that strangers like yourself would know exactly where I\’m coming from. I may not speak in perpetual abbreviations like most corps-folk, I may have never gone out for the \’Devs\’ or the \’Cavies\’, but I spent a decade strapped to a snare drum and I do have a WGI championship under my belt, so I am MORE than qualified to speak critically about any marching musical performance I witness anywhere, ever. I appreciate you registering your displeasure (albeit with no URL and a fake email, \’drums@hotmail.com\’), but by actually going through with it, I can only assume that you either didn\’t read the title, or you have a cleft forehead. Or both.

Awesome: Some nobody, huh? SOME NOBODY?!?! Do you have any idea who the fuck you\’re talking to, DAVE? I\’m not some corn-husking stepchild of yours. Are you fucking kidding me? You can cram it in your cramhole, bitchpants!! You better be glad you didn\’t leave any contact information in your comment, because IT WOULD BE OVER FOR YOU, CANDLE BREATH!! I WILL COME TO NEBRASKA AND STRIKE YOU IN YOUR TOWEL-LICKING FACE WITH A SHOVEL, TOWEL LICKER!! SHIT, I\’LL CALL TOMMY LEE AND HAVE HIM DO IT FOR ME!! WHAT THE HELL IS A CORN-HUSKER?!?!

Aaaaaaaand, I\’m spent.