Browse: Home / 2005 / August / 18 / I tell no lies to assjacks

I tell no lies to assjacks

By Tony on August 18, 2005

I told you assjacks the next entry would be made from Laptown AND I WAS NOT LYING! The Geester and I are both sitting on the couch. She is knitting and I am on the wienernet. Ghost World is playing on the video hi-fi. We are truly living the dream. Scarlett Johansson is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock.

Seriously though … this rules. Shannon also got a laptop recently and he told me he very quickly wondered why he hadn\’t done so ten years ago. As soon as I saw \”Wireless network: connected,\” I wondered the exact same thing.

Behold, the arrivening:

World Traveller:

Free from the protective, candy-coated shell:

The keyword here is \”designed,\” because that\’s about the only step that doesn\’t happen in China:

Poltergeist, 2k5:

Rather predictably, Gia put her hands on the iBook and immediately demanded, \”When does mine get here?\”

Posted in | 8 Responses

8 responses to “I tell no lies to assjacks”

  1. Rusty
    August 18, 2005 at 1:32 PM |

    I can’t wait to get my Pentium M Powerbook. Or a quadruple Itanium Power Mac. One of the two. Or both. Maybe I’ll buy enough to fill a tub and then bathe in Mactel goodness. Goddamn, that’ll be sweet.

  2. Amber
    August 18, 2005 at 2:10 PM |

    Woohoo!! Welcome to the family, brother. ;)

  3. miked
    August 18, 2005 at 10:26 PM |

    I’m trying to remember the night we came up with the term “assjack”. I think it was the same night as “asscakes” and “assmat”. I bet we were drinking. So what’s up with the drainage issue? How about the new Pelican record? What about your job. You never write about your job. I bet you hate your job so you should write about it. Fuck the Fuckin’ Fucks at work who read this blog. It sounds like the majority of ‘em are the kids we hated in highschool anyway. Glad to see you bought a computer though. Nice work.

  4. Robert
    August 19, 2005 at 12:13 AM |


    As a boy who blogs from an Apple lappy, all I can say is enjoy. Not only do they just feel good, they find unsecured wireless providers nicely. My new neighbor didn’t even know his was open before I asked if I could use his signal.

    Feel free to ask about good/free os x software. I got some favorites, including Flickr’s uploading program.

    And thanks for the welcome to the neighborhood.

  5. danielle
    August 19, 2005 at 10:24 AM |

    I believe it’s “hotter than two squirrels fucking in a wool sock,” but maybe that’s because I have a crush on Scarlett Johannson, and squirrels are way cuter than rats.

    Oh, and my asscakes realization came when my friends and I were playing Taboo, and the clue was “sticky bun.” The leap isn’t too far.

  6. alison
    August 22, 2005 at 10:15 AM |

    Welcome to the joys of wireless internet! :)
    I couldn’t live without my laptop.

  7. mzmeg
    August 23, 2005 at 12:49 AM |

    Doesn’t it seem strange to you that the name of Apple is the same of as that fruit that shunned Adam to whatever damnation that Eve advocated?

    hmmm, I don’t know about that.

    All I do know is wireless is jesus.

  8. spencer
    August 24, 2005 at 12:18 PM |

    yummy, mac.